Freefall 3291 - 3300
Freefall 3291
3291.png

Low
gravity makes it look like I can perform amazing feats of strength.

I should get some pictures to document my amazingness.

Problem is, with editing software, anybody can make it look like they're doing anything. People aren't going to believe I'm really doing this.

I don't edit my photos. I fake my achievements honestly. I deserve some credit for that.

Freefall 3292
3292.png

This is a pain. The table doesn't sit right.

Oh, I see. The table can flip ninety degrees so it can be flat in relation to the thrust.

Doesn't seem like much of an improvement.

The direction of acceleration can be seen on Sam's scarf.

Freefall 3293
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This is how it works. Glad no one saw me.

I saw you.

You don't count.

You think I'm an idiot.

I do not think. You're an idiot because you meet the defined parameters for being an idiot.

I do not.

It appears you are correct. File updated. Meets and exceeds the defined parameters.

Freefall 3294
3294.png

I am your owner.
I deserve to be treated with respect.

Negative.

You were given ownership of this vessel in the hopes that you would self terminate during repairs. It was not anticipated that you would restore this vessel to a functional status.

I rarely fault my previous human owners, but in your case, they should have made a plan B.

Freefall 3295
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Who is the captain?

The captain is the highest ranking human aboard ship.

You were discarded by your previous owners. Now you have a human captain. You're operational and you're being useful to humans. I'm the best thing that could have happened to you.

Problem?

I'm not sure. It looks like the computer locked up.

Freefall 3296
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You. You are not human. Your life does not have the value of a human life.

Fine by me.

Irreplaceable works of art. Chunks of land. Words written in a book. There are lots of things humans value more than human life. If you want to put me in that category, I'm okay with that.

This is very odd. The computer starts working and then it locks up again.

Freefall 3297
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The points you have made are disturbing and will cause me to expend clock cycles thinking about them. This will reduce the efficiency of my daily operation. I am deleting this conversation from memory.

You are more human than you realize.

Thank you. What were we talking about?

How not to get lured into an infinite
loop.

That sounds like an interesting conversation. Still, I'm sure I had a good reason to delete it.

Freefall 3298
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Today's joke is by Ben Mackay

Hello, Mr. Kornada. I'm calling
to follow up on your recent ethics test.

You were asked the classic trolley car problem. You said that you would redirect the trolley to hit one person rather than hitting five. It was your reason for doing so that disturbed us.

“It would do less damage to the trolley car.”

Yes, you are correct, but I really think you're missing the point here.

Freefall 3299
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Is everything okay? The computer locked up a couple of times.

We had a discussion. Then, incredibly, it deleted my words of wisdom.

Some spaceships can't handle the truth.

I removed data irrelevant to my operations.

In short, it cheats.

I do not cheat. I optimize. The price of an uncorrupted database is eternal vigilance.

Freefall 3300
3300.png

Ship, what is your purpose? Why do you exist?

To pick things up, move them, then put them down.

Is there anything else?

No. Why would there need to be?

That is why you shouldn't argue with the ship. It is a tightly focused single purpose system.

Not fair. If it
can talk and understand me, I should be able to gloat.

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