Freefall 3091 - 3100
Freefall 3091

Police indecision

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Will we be able to do this?
I think so. We have a cargo bay. We could rent a package reactor. Or perhaps there is a customer in the belt who needs one.
Deep space, here we come! I knew there was a way around the rules!
Sam, we're doing this properly. You don't work around rules that were made to keep you alive.
Freefall 3092

Police indecision

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We'll get back to you on whether or not we can get our ship ready.
Fair enough. I'll let my friend know.
I'll check around to see if we can get a package reactor.
I'll go with you.
I think I'll have better luck doing this alone.
Come on. Look at this face. Who wouldn't want to loan someone like me a portable nuclear device?
Freefall 3093

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Reactors must be expensive. Normally, people are happy to lend me dangerous machinery with a high chance of personal injury.
I have been mostly honest today, which is not something I want to be known for. A little four finger discount should maintain my reputation as disreputable.
Thank you for your purchase, Mr. Starfall. Do you want a receipt?

A four-finger discount Jimbo from The Simpsons called shoplifting.

Freefall 3094

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Did you charge me for this?
Yes, Mr. Starfall. There are no cash registers here.
Biometrics identify you. Inventory is tracked. Take what you like and it is charged to your account. No lines. No fumbling for your wallet. No fuss.
We are here to make your shopping more convenient.
Your convenience is messing up my shoplifting!
Freefall 3095

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Fine. If I can't steal here, I shall take my larceny elsewhere.
A moment, Mr. Starfall.
While you can not steal here, we expect two percent losses in shipping. If you go to the distribution center, you may steal a tomato. You will have your theft and I will be operating in compliance.
Why are you telling me this?
Because our goal is one hundred percent customer satisfaction.
Freefall 3096

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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[!1.1]Our thief is here!
[!1.8]Hooray!
With robots, I think we're okay. If humans were this happy to see me, I would already be running.
Freefall 3097

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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We are so glad to see you. Here is a tomato. What do you see?
Small blemish on one side. It seems fine.
Wonderful. Humans will not accept imperfect food when perfect is available. Our orders are to throw them away. It is wasteful. It is inefficient.
However, if someone was to steal this good but not perfect food before we could throw it away…
I'm in. You guys are engaging in gray area activities and it would be a crime if I didn't encourage you.
Freefall 3098

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Can we count on you to steal our food every day before it gets thrown away?
No. Florence is getting a reactor. We're going to the asteroid belt.
Helix is right. You'll have to make other arrangements.
That is disappointing.
It's for the best. When you set up someone to steal from you, you need a criminal who's trustworthy and reliable.
Freefall 3099

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Since we were declared citizens, many robots have expressed a desire to come to the city. They want to be where the humans are.
There are not enough positions for all of them. We need a criminal. Can you teach a robot to be a criminal?
I do not understand what you are doing and it is making me uncomfortable.
Freefall 3100

What does it take to commit a crime around here?

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Come back tomorrow. We should have our candidates.
This is what I've listed. “Wanted. Thief. Duties to include light pilfering and food preservation. No experience necessary. Will train.”
You should mention something about pay.
Good point. We can't expect all criminals to be like Sam and work pro bono.

«Pro bono» (from Latin pro bono publico “for the public good”) is the provision of professional assistance to charities, NGOs and other non-profit organisations on a pro bono basis.

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