Freefall 0871 - 0880

Freefall 0871

Launch

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Is that Sam again?

Screaming squid noises? Yes, that's Sam. I'll follow and learn from him.

Helix! Help! The toilet's got my scarf and it's not even two ply!

Florence, when you said to follow Sam and learn, did you mean learn what to do or what NOT to do?

Launch

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Ship 1071 CCN. I think we should pull that one aside and send in an inspection team.

Why? Their receipts are in order. Their flight plan has been filed and approved. Everything looks perfectly normal.

That's Sam Starfall's ship.

You're right. Sam acting normal? That IS suspicious.

Launch

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Good evening. This is flight control. May I speak to the captain?

He can't talk now. He got his scarf stuck in the toilet and now his head is stuck too.

I… see. Is your second in command there?

Doggy? She's helping the captain. Does chewing off a trapped limb work if it's the head?

So much for them acting perfectly normal.

Call off the inspection team! It's all right! They're still nuts!

Launch

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You're free. I'm bagging your scarf until I can run it through the laundry.

No! You can't! I need my scarf!

I can't fly the ship without a scarf! I won't cut a dashing figure! I need a scarf!

Is there nothing an engineer can't do with duct tape?

Launch

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Is it possible to remove all references to my head getting stuck in the toilet from the logs?

It is. Would you like me to start on that, captain?

Yes.

Removal of entries from ship's logs requires a review by five other captains. Forwarding the information now.

Can you use my video record of when I helped with the plunger?

Volunteered video record now being transferred.

My original mistakes never draw half the attention as my attempts to cover them up do.

Launch

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When you guys are ready, we need to move the ship to the magnetic accelerator and prepare for launch.

This is it. I'm really going into space. the humans laughed at me when I said I'd become a great space pilot. Well, who's laughing now?

Captain's Board of Review: Log entry removals

Helix Vision

Launch

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Is this going to launch us into orbit?

No. In an atmosphere, friction would generate too much heat.

The magnetic rail will get us up to about Mach Two. For us, it's cheaper, and the newer shuttles need the speed to start their scramjets.

Oh! Now I get it!

When the city council said they were going to strap an iron plate to my butt and run me out of town on a rail, THIS is the rail they were talking about.

На корабле используется гиперзвуковой прямоточный воздушно-реактивный двигатель.

Launch

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We're on the accelerator. we have clearance. It's past time. What's the hold up?

Be patient, Sam. Flight control hasn't called us, so it's probably some minor technical problem.

I want to be the one who launches Sam!

He's caused me more trouble! I get to throw him off planet!

No! Me!

Launch

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Sorry for the delay. Technical difficulties. I am ready to launch you now.

ABOUT TIME YOU…

Captain, may I remind you that this is the person who controls if we accelerate gently to three gravities, or rapidly to twenty?

…Lovely, wonderful person, you!

Thank you, Sam. I hope your flight is short, and for me, enjoyable.

Launch

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Sam, you're going to want to put your chair into acceleration mode.

SAM! NO! THAT DOESN'T MEAN HIT THE EJECT BUTTON!

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